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Committed: A Sceptic Makes Peace With Marriage
 
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Committed: A Sceptic Makes Peace With Marriage [Formato Kindle]

Elizabeth Gilbert
3.5 su 5 stelle  Visualizza tutte le recensioni (2 recensioni clienti)

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Descrizione prodotto

Sinossi

At the end of her bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love,
Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe - a Brazilian-born man of
Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met.
Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other,
but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally
married. (Both survivors of difficult divorces. Enough said.) But
providence intervened one day in the form of the U.S. government, who -
after unexpectedly detaining Felipe at an American border crossing -
gave the couple a choice: they could either get married, or Felipe
would never be allowed to enter the country again.

Having been
effectively sentenced to wed, Gilbert tackled her fears of marriage by
delving completely into this topic, trying with all her might to
discover (through historical research, interviews and much personal
reflection) what this stubbornly enduring old institution actually is.
The result is Committed - a witty and intelligent contemplation
of marriage that debunks myths, unthreads fears and suggests that
sometimes even the most romantic of souls must trade in her amorous
fantasies for the humbling responsibility of adulthood. Gilbert's
memoir - destined to become a cherished handbook for any thinking
person hovering on the verge of marriage - is ultimately a clear-eyed
celebration of love, with all the complexity and consequence that real
love, in the real world, actually entails.

Dettagli prodotto

  • Formato: Formato Kindle
  • Dimensioni file: 438 KB
  • Lunghezza stampa: 304
  • Editore: Bloomsbury Publishing; 1 edizione (4 gennaio 2010)
  • Venduto da: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
  • Lingua: Inglese
  • ASIN: B0034DGP6S
  • Da testo a voce: Non abilitato
  • X-Ray:
  • Media recensioni: 3.5 su 5 stelle  Visualizza tutte le recensioni (2 recensioni clienti)
  • Posizione nella classifica Bestseller di Amazon: #28.261 a pagamento nel Kindle Store (Visualizza i Top 100 a pagamento nella categoria Kindle Store)

Recensioni clienti

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Le recensioni più utili
4.0 su 5 stelle Interessante 9 febbraio 2013
Formato:Formato Kindle|Acquisto verificato
Lo vogliono vendere un po'per quello che non è, cioè per un romanzo d'amore, invece è un saggio interessante sul matrimonio condito da aneddoti personali che chi ha amato "Eat, pray, love" apprezzerà. Poi lei è simpaticissima.
Questa recensione ti è stata utile?
3.0 su 5 stelle "Eat Pray Love" continues! 28 luglio 2012
Di Paulina
Formato:Copertina flessibile
This is not just the sequel of number one best seller Eat Pray Love and it doesn't want to be that kind of book too.

"Committed" is the interesting Elizabeth Gilbert's journey through the complicated institution of marriage, its history and its meaning.

It's a very intimate novel and she shares every single feeling she experience while deciding what to do with her own life with Felipe, mixing her private story with pages about academic studies and history about marriage.

I enjoyed reading it because it was like listening to a close friend's opened heart thoughts (and you can also know how their love story comes to an end!).
Questa recensione ti è stata utile?
Le recensioni clienti più utili su Amazon.com (beta)
Amazon.com: 3.6 su 5 stelle  467 recensioni
456 di 477 persone hanno trovato utile la seguente recensione
4.0 su 5 stelle Intimacy through... marriage? 5 gennaio 2010
Di Grace - Pubblicato su Amazon.com
Formato:Copertina rigida
I adore Eat, Pray, Love for a variety of reasons. This book however, is not Eat, Pray, Love. Thankfully, it doesn't pretend to be. My advice: don't read "Committed" if you are hoping to lose yourself in a compelling story, because you might get bored. Read it if you are interested in learning about marriage - what it is and what it is not, why it sometimes works and why it sometimes doesn't - and are prepared to examine your own assumptions about this beautiful yet fraught concept.

Some readers may not consider this work an adequate sequel to EPL for stylistic reasons - the storyline is simpler, the tone more somber, and the laughs rarer. But I'm not one of them. For me (and I can only speak for myself), EPL was a pleasure to read because it helped me learn more about myself and my relationship to relationships, which is precisely what "Committed" succeeds at doing. What could be more useful than a book that celebrates not only marriage, but the self inquiry and interpersonal work required to sustain one? For that matter, what could be more romantic?
325 di 348 persone hanno trovato utile la seguente recensione
5.0 su 5 stelle A Thoughtful and Sobering Look at Marriage 5 gennaio 2010
Di KimberlyA. - Pubblicato su Amazon.com
Formato:Copertina rigida
Embarking on writing a major work after the spectacular Eat, Pray, Love, must have been no easy feat. However, undaunted and honest as ever, Elizabeth Gilbert provides an eye-opening and thorough account of the colossal entity we call marriage. We have all grown up accepting marriage as a given. It seems to be taken as common place that people simply grow up and get married- and then (of course) live happily ever after. Or is it that easy?

Not so fast, Gilbert warns us. Do we completely know what we are getting into? What happens to us as independent beings when we marry? What makes a marriage more likely to succeed, and what makes it more likely to fail? What are the economic, social, and legal ties that bind us and do we even understand the significance of them? How are we able to somehow throw love in the mix as well? Extremely timely and pertinent questions with serious implications. Some of the most interesting and thought provoking aspects of the book- a glimpse into the lives of the Hmong women in Asia (who view marriage not as a solution to all of life's problems and seem to have no qualms whatsoever about this), how marriage was viewed by different religions throughout the centuries- not always so 'sacred', and the way marriage has been used to secure money, power, and property throughout history. Quite simply, Gilbert explains this institution has been pulled, prodded, and changed for centuries- yet still it remains. There is something, then that draws us still to marry. Gilbert (thrown rather harshy into marriage by the US government) walks away with a brokered peace with marriage and a deeper understanding of what it means to be married- as she embarks on her own marriage. The reader has a deeper understanding as well.

As a final note, what is more important if not the subject of who we spend our lives with? Who we share our faith, time, children, money, and precious moments with? As a new mother who married five years ago at the age of 24 (I know this puts me into the danger zone :), this book has given me fuller understanding of what it means to be married and coming to respect my own marriage as an imperfect, changing, and totally lovable creature- much like my own baby son. (Quite simply, the white gown and endless talks about the church and reception hall didn't really matter- the chats we had about faith, child-rearing, navigating our political differences, and in-laws definitely mattered.) It has once been said that 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' Gilbert's book suggests that perhaps an unexamined marriage is not worth having- and I'd agree.
70 di 78 persone hanno trovato utile la seguente recensione
5.0 su 5 stelle Committed. . .the Sequel to EPL 8 gennaio 2010
Di Anne Caroline Drake - Pubblicato su Amazon.com
Formato:Copertina rigida
"Committed" is a natural sequel to EPL. Elizabeth Gilbert's EPL is her path to recovery from divorce.

Most folks who have been divorced are highly reluctant to trot down the aisle again. . .will we be more successful this time?

Gilbert and "Felipe" were broke and broken at the end of their first marriages. They were gun-shy until the INS got out the shotgun.

The book is equal part examination of how the US government can create havoc in people's most intimate relationships as it is an examination of what it takes to have an enduring marriage and to experience unconditional love and true intimacy.

If you are looking for a starry-eyed romantic look at love, this isn't the book for you.

But, if you are serious about creating an enduring, mature, loving, intimate relationship, this book will give you much to ponder and discuss with the love of your life. It would be an excellent gift for any engaged couple.
119 di 139 persone hanno trovato utile la seguente recensione
3.0 su 5 stelle Interesting, But Too Chatty 12 gennaio 2010
Di Heather A. Conrad - Pubblicato su Amazon.com
Formato:Copertina rigida|Acquisto verificato
I'm a big fan of Elizabeth Gilbert and loved Eat, Pray, Love as well as her talk on creativity at the TED conference circulating on YouTube. Her blend of factual information, anecdote and creative interpretation is illuminating and entertaining. And Committed has its share of humor and aha! moments.

In her preface to Committed, Gilbert says she originally wrote a 500-page version of this book, then discarded it. She implies it was too pedantic, so the second time she wrote it imagining only an audience of close women friends. I believe this gives the book a talky, chatty quality that does not translate well to the written page. There are too many "anyways", redundancies and extraneous phrases. If she were speaking this text to us, we could experience her gestures and facial expressions, inflection and dramatic pauses; the audiovisuals of conversation would keep us interested. But on the two-dimensional page, I found myself growing impatient and wishing she had thinned the verbiage by 30 per cent.

I also felt uncomfortable with the amount of very personal information she revealed about her husband and her parents. A confessional approach to one's own life by a memoirist is one thing; to expose and discuss other peoples' intimate feelings and issues seems exploitative.

Another problem was the lack of sourcing for her valuable factual data, particularly, her fascinating material on the evolution of marriage. This information could be very useful to call out the "ancient tradition" excuse for social repression. But without sources, it's much less useful. She did list about 20 authors in one sentence in her acknowledgements but this doesn't help much. Gilbert has one explanatory footnote in her book and says with seeming pride that it is "the only footnote in the book". Again, I think she went overboard on veering away from pedantry.

The idea for this book and much of its information is interesting and valuable. I wish Gilbert had imagined a wider, less personally familiar audience so that her writing might have been more pithy and vivid. I believe this book packed a punch but it became buried and invisible in the rambling, chatty delivery.
48 di 55 persone hanno trovato utile la seguente recensione
1.0 su 5 stelle Felipe & readers: RUN! 4 agosto 2011
Di April Thompson - Pubblicato su Amazon.com
Formato:Copertina flessibile
How on earth did this book come to be published?? And how is it getting more than 2 stars?? It's the whiniest, most self-indulgent, self-absorbed research paper/rant I have ever read. Her refrain, as other reviewers have noted, is indeed, "What's in it for me? What about me? How does that help me?" It gets old. Fast. I read the entire book because I stubbornly held onto some idea that I might get to the end and the whole thing would be worth it somehow. That moment never came. I should have put it down after the first chapter. I did get a little misty while reading the last chapter, but I think that had mainly to do with the niece and nephew...

She seems to have forgotten everything she supposedly learned and all her zen-like qualities that she supposedly gained from her EPL phase. She is right back where she started in EPL: paranoid, entitled, needy, sulky, with way too high an estimation of her own intelligence, beliefs, sense of humor, and opinions. I liked EPL, I liked her narrative voice (even though I don't agree with a lot of what she said), and I liked the optimistic and perseverant quality of herself in that book (or at least how she portrayed herself). That said, the same Liz Gilbert did not write both books. Her voice in Committed is a shrew's shrill, harping, whiny, bitter, unrelentingly pessimistic screech. At first, I tried to discover which voice is really hers, but after slogging through this entire book, which felt as weighty and uninspired as an encyclopedia, I don't think I care anymore. All I know is that I will be hard pressed to ever pick up another of her books. And I'm writing this review to warn readers to stay away from this book. There are so many worthier uses of your time.

This woman loves to research everything, it seems. Instead of researching, why doesn't she just get in touch with herself? Or don't. But stop obsessing and second-guessing yourself for months on end. Does it really matter what other people think? In America today, a man and a woman can pretty much craft whatever kind of marriage they both want. If the man wants to do all the cooking and let his wife sit in an easy chair and drink wine, then more power to them. If they want to write up a pre-nup, no one's going to stop them. Was this really a revelation to the author? Seems pretty obvious to me. Does it really matter what all her girlfriends here in America and women from rural Laos think about marriage, children, feminist issues, and so on? Why do all these things matter? Why can't she just quietly examine her own love for Felipe and his love for her and come to a decision, instead of going on and on and on about how much marriage exacts from women, how much men benefit from marriage, how many women in her family gave up their dreams for marriage? I think she likes making things a lot harder than they really need to be. Or maybe she just needs drama in her life. That would explain a lot.

In addition to her obsession with all things marriage, she also throws in a good deal of her opinions about social conservatives. Could she hate conservatives more? I doubt it. She blames them personally for just about everything she can. She blames them for her family's women giving up their dreams and "scraping the walls of their souls" in sacrifice for their husbands and families; never mind that her mom and sis are happy in their marriages. She blames conservatives for conditions throughout the decades and centuries which she will never even have to experience. I suppose she's complaining on behalf of her ancestors. Even though she blames conservatives for encouraging mothers to stay at home with their children, she admits that when her own mother quit her job and stayed at home to raise the author and her sister, the girls loved it. She is quick to follow up this admission with the fervent desire that her mom had been able to have both a fulfilling career and a happy, nurtured family. She says everyone's lives got better when her mom quit her job, except her mom's life. (It is ironic that near the end of the book, the author discovers a theory that she claims to be her salvation, served up by none other than Ferdinand Mount, a conservative Brit.)

Which brings me to the idea of "having it all." This author has bought into the feminist idea that a woman can have everything she wants, and that's a shame. She doesn't seem to know that for every thing we choose, there is something else that we have just given up. There is no possible way to have everything we want. If we choose Option A, then that means we won't have enough time/energy/money for Option B. She seems to take this law as a personal insult/challenge. Just as a person cannot be in two places at the same time, there is no way that a person can have every single thing she wants. Priorities are made, decisions are made, and hopefully we made the best choice. This isn't something the author is willing to do.

And the fact that she keeps blaming Homeland Security for her impending marriage and insists on calling the refusal to let Felipe into the country "deportation" makes this author come across as a spoiled teenager. For being as smart and well traveled as she is, it's impossible to believe that she had no idea that Felipe's coming into the country for 90 days at a time several times per year would be sure, eventually, to be scrutinized and put to a halt. And enough whining about how hard it is to get all the various documents in order. Many others have done this same thing; somehow they figured it out.

This author is best when she tells stories and anecdotes. Those gleaming moments came too few and far between and lasted all too briefly in this book. I got so excited when she would start talking about how Felipe mixes up his idioms and words, like "Nobody sings until the fat lady sings," or when he says "lulubells" and means "lullabies." Also, when she told stories about people, dogs, chickens, and frogs she met in her travels. Or describing her conversations with her niece about what constitutes a proper marriage or describing her niece's impromptu wedding ceremony in the kitchen. But those storytelling segments never lasted very long, and then she would be back at the horse's side, beating and beating the poor thing, even though he was long dead. She goes on for pages and pages, draws a conclusion... and then says, "BUT," at which point the reader knows he's in trouble. She's going to take the whole issue apart again and reassemble it from a different angle. It's so obvious from her writing that this lady is up to her eyeballs in neuroses. I think she undid every positive thing that happened to her in ELP. She's regressed and her readers are only some of the people who are suffering from this development.

Poor Felipe. You know she's going to make his life miserable. Run, man, run! And reader, spare yourself, too! Skip this one.

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People always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each others personalities. Who wouldnt? Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But thats not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partners faults honestly and say, I can work around that. I can make something out of that.? Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and its always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you. &quote;
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