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How To Think More About Sex (Inglese) Copertina flessibile – 10 mag 2012

5.0 su 5 stelle 1 recensione cliente

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Descrizione prodotto

Descrizione del libro

Think more about sex by thinking about it in a different way


Alain de Botton is the author of the international bestsellers, How Proust Can Change Your Life, The Art of Travel and Religion for Atheists, and other books that try to throw light on the big challenges of our lives. He is the founder of Living Architecture (, a social enterprise which gets top architects to build holiday homes for rental by anyone. He is also founder of The School of Life (, for which this series has been designed.

The School of Life is a London-based enterprise that is dedicated to the most useful ideas relevant to the dilemmas of everyday life. We consider questions like: How can we fulfil our potential? Can work be inspiring? Why does community matter? Can relationships last a lifetime? We don’t have all the answers, but we will direct you towards a variety of useful ideas – from philosophy to literature, psychology to the visual arts – that are guaranteed to stimulate, provoke, nourish and console.

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Dettagli prodotto

  • Copertina flessibile: 160 pagine
  • Editore: Macmillan; Main Market Ed. edizione (10 maggio 2012)
  • Collana: The School of Life
  • Lingua: Inglese
  • ISBN-10: 1447202279
  • ISBN-13: 978-1447202271
  • Peso di spedizione: 159 g
  • Media recensioni: 5.0 su 5 stelle  Visualizza tutte le recensioni (1 recensione cliente)
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Formato: Formato Kindle Acquisto verificato
Absolutely a lot of smart thinking in this book.

This is not about being the new porn star with your partner. It is not even about doing more sex (well, yes and not).... it is about thinking positively about sex.
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Le recensioni clienti più utili su (beta) 3.9 su 5 stelle 73 recensioni
89 di 90 persone hanno trovato utile la seguente recensione
4.0 su 5 stelle Thinking about sex, with the emphasis on thinking 24 dicembre 2012
Di Paul Mastin - Pubblicato su
Formato: Copertina flessibile
Alain de Botton is a writer who, at least for me, defies easy description. Although he has written novels, I think of him more as an essayist or public thinker. He might be described as a philosopher, but he doesn't seem to fit the traditional category of philosophy. Suffice it to say that his writing is a pleasure to read, thoughtful and though-provoking, timeless and relevant.

His recent book, How to Think More About Sex, places the emphasis on think much more than on sex, as you might expect from a writer of his caliber. This is not a book of titillation, nor is it a sex manual, or a biological study. De Botton takes this usually unmentionable subject and presents reflections that build appreciation for our relationships.

The book is filled with passages that made me smile and think, that's true, but I never thought of it like that before. For instance, the attractive/revolting nature of the act itself. "At the precise juncture where disgust could be at its height, we find only welcome and permission. The privileged nature of the union between two people is sealed by an act that, with someone else, would have horrified them both." He continues, "Lovemaking purifies us by engaging the most apparently polluted sides of ourselves in the procedures and thereby anointing them as newly worthy. This is never more true than when we press our faces, the most public and respectable aspects of ourselves, eagerly against our lovers' most private and 'contaminated' parts . . . thus symbolically lending our approval to their entire selves."

Of course the subject of sex lends itself to humor, which he has plenty of, but it's more understated and observational than bawdy or tasteless. "One of the difficulties of sex is that it doesn't--in the grander scheme of things--last terribly long. Even at its extreme, we are talking of an activity that might only rarely occupy two hours, or approximately the length of a Catholic Mass." And the sex act itself is not merely about physical intimacy; "rather, it is an ecstasy we feel at encountering someone who may be able to put to rest certain of our greatest fears, and whom we may home to build a shared life based upon common values."

Despite his non-religious perspective (he is an atheist who has an admiration for religious culture and values), his writing has sparks of religious themes and Christian morality. He admires the monogamist impulse of religious ethics. Against the temptation to stray, both physically and mentally (as with pornography), "we should be able to see for ourselves that untrammeled liberty can paradoxically trap us, and that . . . we might be doing ourselves a favor if we willingly consented to cede certain of our privileges to a benign supervisory entity."

Regarding adultery, he recognizes that "few marriages . . . perfectly fuse together the three golden strands of fulfillment--romantic, erotic, and familial," but that even in an imperfect or incomplete marriage, "it is impossible to sleep with someone outside of marriage and not spoil the things we care about inside it. . . . That a couple should be willing to watch their lives go by from within the cage of marriage, without acting on outside sexual impulses, is a miracle of civilization and kindness for which they ought both to feel grateful on a daily basis."

Don't get me wrong; de Botton's sexual ethic may not pass muster for a Sunday school curriculum. But, as he intended, we can all learn a bit more about ourselves and our relationships, thinking more about sex. If nothing else, de Botton will help us not take sex, and our sexual partners, for granted. I love his advice for the bored or complacent: "We might learn to effect on our spouse much the same imaginative transformation that Manet performed on his vegetables. We should try to locate the good and the beautiful beneath the layers of habit and routine. . . . [We may] have forgotten that dimension in him or her that remains adventurous, impetuous, cheeky, intelligent and, above all else, alive." The way I read that is treasure your spouse, view her with eyes that see her as no one else does. Sounds like good advice to me.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy.
5.0 su 5 stelle Was dissapointed when it ended. 21 novembre 2016
Di Richard L.Prager - Pubblicato su
Formato: Copertina flessibile Acquisto verificato
Sure, we all know everything there is to know about sex, relationships, marriage, attraction, etc. This well written little book opens one's mind to why we feel and think the way we do about intimacy and relationships. Educational and enjoyable.
1 di 1 persone hanno trovato utile la seguente recensione
5.0 su 5 stelle easy read, amusing and direct 29 ottobre 2014
Di Kristia van Heerden - Pubblicato su
Formato: Formato Kindle Acquisto verificato
This book will challenge your perceptions and long-held beliefs on sex, marriage, fidelity and pornograhpy. It's a quick, easy read, amusing and direct. Read it if you are struggling to figure out how sex fits into your long-term, monogamous relationship or just for fun. So worth it.
5.0 su 5 stelle Fortunately, the book is a fast read and engaging 20 luglio 2014
Di David H. - Pubblicato su
Formato: Formato Kindle Acquisto verificato
Insightful. Gives you alternative ways of thinking about how relationships work, how they form, how they fail. Some of the author's ideas are counter-intuitive, which means I might need to read it again for the to sink in. Fortunately, the book is a fast read and engaging, so that's not a problem. In the end, I might think some of his ideas are wrong, but I'm better off for having examined and mulled over them.
5.0 su 5 stelle Compassionate understanding of the human condition 10 agosto 2013
Di Robert Batey - Pubblicato su
Formato: Copertina flessibile Acquisto verificato
This book has been vilified and lauded and I think it deserves the latter as it speaks so openly about human relationships and their complexity and preciousness. Those who do not like the book should perhaps look at their own approach to relationship. Alain suggests that we should treat our relationships with real care and ocncern and to grow into them gently and thoughtfully. This is a book from a heart that knows what love is all about