Elisabeth Sheff, PhD, is an educational and legal consultant who specializes in the families of sexual and gender minorities. She is the CEO and Director of Legal Services at the Sheff Consulting Group in Atlanta, a think-tank of experts specializing in unconventional and underserved populations. One of the foremost experts on polyamory and polyamorous families with children, she has presented her work at national and international conferences and has lectured widely on the topic.Sheff's second book, Stories from the Polycule: Real Life in Polyamorous Families, is an anthology of work written by polyamorists, with cartoons by Tikva Wolf.
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I literally have polyamorists living next door to me. At first, I thought they were freaky deviants, but nice ones. Over the last 3 years as I’ve gotten to know them better (and our kids have become good friends too) and am pretty amazed at their level of healthy functioning... As opposed to the dysfunction that was occurring with my husband and I, and what I’ve been exposed to in the general population. When it became clear that my husband and I needed a drastic change because we were miserable... I viewed my interesting polyamory neighbors as role models (in trying something different). I joke to them that they are my “permissionaries”.... their willingness to step outside the typical societal script gave ME permission to try something different. Over the last 1.5 years, my husband and I have quite successfully navigated what-could-have-been a devastating divorce and instead have turned it into a “polyaffective relationship” as the author of this book, Elizabeth Scheff, terms it. The polyaffective sections of this book were like she crawled into my head and knew all my thoughts. Thanks to this way of doing things, my 2 children are entirely unscathed as my husband and I have transitioned our relationship to something different.... AND we have preserved respect and love (just not the sexual/romantic kind) for each other, which is a blessing beyond blessings. I’m eternally grateful for the lessons my polyamorists neighbors taught me... and I think Elizabeth Scheff covers it masterfully in this book.
Having read many of Dr. Sheff's online articles, I was expecting the style to be light and conversational. This is not such a critter; it's a scholarly work, compiled over a number of years, full of references to methodology and qualifications and quantifications.
That's not a bad thing. But chatty and humorous bits like this:
"Tacit Campo reiterated this point with tongue planted firmly in cheek when he said, 'Poly newcomers tend to make the same mistakes, and I’d like to think that at this point in life, I’m ready to explore the exciting world of advanced, sophisticated relationship mistakes that waits beyond that field.'"
are few and far between, if delightful, when they pop up. It's still well worth a read, if you identify as polyamorous, or love someone who is.
This is an excellent book. This book isn't just for people who practice polyamory or are interested in polyamory, this book is just interesting for the sake of understanding alternative lifestyles. This book covers what seems like everything. From pros to cons, conflict resolution, even how it can effect the children involved in the household. I highly recommend this book to anyone who finds interest in alternative lifestyles. This is one of the most fascinating books I've read in quite some time.
5,0 su 5 stelleGreat primer on what being polyamorous means
18 settembre 2017 - Pubblicato su Amazon.com
I wanted to find out more about polyamory and this book provided the ticket. The diverse series of anecdotes really helped to clarify a complex topic and convince me that polyamory is not one size fits all. The success factors behind polyamorous relationships were also very insightful and provided guidance on how one would approach such a relationship without getting burnt.
The width, breadth, and depth of human sexuality is formidable. This book looks, admittedly clinically, at multiple partner relationships in an ethical and consensual framework. Time will tell if this approach will be successful in our ever changing world. Excellent read.
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